Joshua Moments

 

This is the picture I got from Joshua for Mother's Day.

I love his face.  It looks like he is going on his first date.

Or with his behavior lately, he's telling me- "I love you Mom....I think."

Joshua has been growing again.

And as we have experienced, anytime Joshua decides to be more part of the world, there are great things happening, with a few challenges.

Let's start with the positives.

Last month he started playing with another boy at recess named Brayden.

THIS IS HUGE!

Joshua has never played with a friend at recess, unless made to.

He usually takes recess as a time to regroup and be by himself.

The last 2 years he has headed straight for the swing.

Brayden also has autism, but he is very social.  

He chose Joshua as his friend and Joshua decided to play along.

I still remember Joshua first telling me about Brayden.

"I play with Brayden at recess.  We played seals down the slide."

I was full of joy.

This has continued on for a few weeks.

Aiden has joined the group now.

Since then Joshua has told us about all of his friends, what their names are, what grade they are in, which bus they ride. 

He is so excited to have friends.

I don't know how much he talks to his friends, but he loves talking about his friends.

He was talking more and more about friends, and he was talking more and more to us, using more and more words.

It has been amazing!

Everyone is amazed by how much he is talking.

With all this friend making, I thought Joshua would actually maybe want to invite a friend over to play.

Anxiety hits his face as I ask him and even crying.

"What's wrong?"  I ask him.

After many minutes he tells me-"Friends stay at school."

He wouldn't even go to Sophia's birthday party.  He loves Sophia, but she's a school friend and "Friends stay at school."

Maybe next year we can take the next friend step.

Now all of Joshua's friends have autism.

As time has gone on Joshua decided to tell us more than mere facts about his friends.  He decided to share their behavior.

"Sophia cried in APE."

"Logan had to go in time out."

"Should we throw books when we are in the reading are?"

Now I know these are good kids, but for what ever reason he decided to focus on their negative behavior, which I know happens, but not all day long.

Hence the behavior changes with Joshua.

Last month he decided he didn't like adults anymore.

Instead of thinking adults were mad at him all the time (that phase lasted a few months), he was going to be mad at adults.

He started yelling, screaming, pretending he was going to hit, or kick, any time an adult tried to help or correct him, which is a lot in his life.

His wonderful teachers at school, helped him to come up with some more appropriate behaviors when he is frustrated.

Luckily at  school this behavior only lasted 2 weeks.

At home it is still going on.

He now knows what the word rude means.

"I'm rude at you mom."

No matter what I say to him.  He's mad at me.

This last month is the first time Joshua has had to go in time out.

He has never chosen to make wrong choices.

He has had melt downs where he has gone to his room to calm down, but never a time out.

It's basically like having a 2 year old in a 8 year old body.

We started the time out with one minute, the whole time him yelling-

"It's too long."

Now he's up to 3 minutes.

Is this wearing on my patience?

I must admit, it does at times.

Yet, we are trying to rejoice in the fact that he is being like any other kid, testing the limits and learning new emotions, sometimes even saying-

"Mom I don't like you."

Just why does it have to be so hard sometimes.

I guess I still need to learn about patience.

Sometimes I miss my super happy Joshua, but there are many treasured moments.

Like one second he can be mad at me and then I just say-

"Joshua I love you so much!"

And then he gets a big grin on his face and says-

"I love you so much too Mom."

I figured out that at bed time when its dark and he is laying in his bed, he is done being mad at me for the day.

I snuggle with him and make him giggle.

I sing him a song and scratch his back.

He says his prayer, asking Heavenly Father _"bless I have good sleeps."

And then we give each other lots of kisses on the cheek.

And then I am blessed with more patience to be the loving and giving mom to the son who is always mad at her, hopeful that this too shall pass, and excited to see the next stage of growth.

It's hard having autism.  People are always telling you what to do or making a big deal about every little thing you do. One day something is easy and the next time it's hard or doesn't make sense.  You can only seem to succeed in a handful of things at once and everyone else keeps getting further and further ahead of you.  Sometimes you do something and people think its funny.  Other times you do something that you think is funny, but it's not.  The confusion goes on and on.  So much to learn.

Andy thinks that maybe he figured out it is easier to be mad than confused.

He can be mad at me for the rest of his life, if it means he will keep growing and sharing more of himself with us. 

Joshua is an amazing boy, doing amazing things.

Some of Joshua's favorites lately.

He loves learning about different languages and cultures.

"Mom when I see Grandma Cardon, I call her Abuela Cardon."

"Mom say a German word."  (I don't know any)

"Mom watch me do kung fu and tia chi."

Joshua loves the movie "Tangled"

His favorite song is "Mother Knows Best."

He likes to record himself singing it on Photo Booth.

And as I mentioned before- He loves talking about his friends.

He loves when I wear a skirt.  Everytime-"Nice skirt mom!"

He loves eating strawberries.

He loves mint ice cream.

He loves to be silly and make people laugh.

There are many things in his world that make him happy.

Last night I said,"  Joshua I hope you make good choices so we can have a fun summer."

With the most excited voice I have ever heard him use_

"Mom it's summer break.  I am SO excited for summer break."

And then we talked about all the fun things we will do this summer.

And I went to bed hopeful that it really will be an exciting summer break.

May God bless me with patience.

Or I might just be spending some short/long periods of time in my room, giving myself a time out until I can be nice.